Fashion and the gym have always been rather uncomfortable bedfellows. But working out and looking good don’t necessarily have to be mutually exclusive – especially if you follow our helpfully compiled list of fashion crimes that no man should commit in the gym. You’re welcome.
1 | Big Headphones
There’s an inherant smugness in paying a fortune for over-the-head headphones then wearing them somewhere where mobility and excessive excercise are on the menu. Stick to in-ear buds for a little discretion.
2 | Short-shorts
In the gym, short-shorts, rowing machines, and the cosmic force known as gravity can all convulse into a terrifying display of over-exposure. There’s no benefit to having your shorts skim the upper echelons of your thigh, so stick to something a bit less revealing for the sake of mankind.
3 | Bandanas (and other ridiculous headwear)
A reminder that you’re at the Fitness First in DIFC, not a federal prison in L.A, and that bandanas, backwards caps and even the dreaded ribbed beanie have no place in this temple of sweat. You look like you have something to hide while also trying to draw attention to it.
4 | Old university clothing
Whether you think being the vice-president of your university’s ultimate frisbee team is an accomplishment or not (clue: it’s not), nothing says you’re living in the past quite like showing off in the form of a tatty nylon hoodie.
5 | Vibram five-fingers
You know, those hideous amphibious shoes with the individual slots for your toes. Anything that looks that repulsive can’t be doing you any good, especially with the overly defensive vibes that come people who have been suckered into buying a pair. Stick to a pair of running shoes, or consider exercising near a pond.
6 | Anything that enables you to strap tech to your arm
What is the benefit, you might ask, of strapping your iPod or iPhone to your arm? The answer: people who love their biceps get a kick out of having them on show. One of the formative rules of the gym is that nobody is as impressed with your physique as you are, so can the showmanship and clip your devices in your pocket.
7 | Excessive neon
Any garish neon shade can be useful if your worried about being hit by an lorry on an outdoor night jog, but in the gym, the chance of being mowed down is slim to none. The bikes are nailed down, so stick to fabrics with non-reflective properties and stop giving people migraines.
8 | The Skimpy Singlet
It’s as simple as this: resembling an out-of-work WWE wrestler is not a strong look, especially if your workout involves twenty bicep curls followed by half an hour in the sauna.
9 | Work Boots
The adult equivalent of forgetting your kit. Working out is tough enough without having to spot these monsters out of the corner of your eye.
10 | No T-Shirt
The ultimate gym no-no is thankfully a rare sight but it’s important the rest of us stay vigilant and stamp it out wherever it surfaces. Give these guys an inch…