29 Of The Most Underwhelming Things
1 | Mid-week nights out with ‘the boys’.
2 | Body scrubs at a spa. Is it OK to cry out in pain?
3 | The 4-D cinema experience. An assault on all of your senses.
4 | Ordering an adventurous cocktail. It always turns out more feminine than you expect.
5 | The Gold Class carriage on the Dubai Tram. Let’s be honest, you’re only going two stops.
6 | A healthy diet. It’s like eating disappointment.
7 | Having your hair washed and massaged by a 16-year-old work experience girl at a salon. Tense.
8 | Giving someone else a massage. Admit it, you don’t know what you’re doing.
9 | Breakfast in bed. There are crumbs, a lack of purchase and the question of where to put your orange juice.
10 | Going to watch the camel racing. You will have zero idea what is going on.
11 | A karaoke duet. There are no winners here.
12 | Beanbags.
13 | Taking reading material into the work toilet. Yes, people do notice.
14 | Freestanding baths in hotel bedrooms.
15 | Golf driving ranges. A haven of quiet despair for men who don’t want to go home.
16 | Sickies from work. Daytime TV here in the Gulf is just appalling.
17 | ’Relaxation’ music played during a massage. Tense and distracting.
18 | Reading the magazines in a coffee shop. Let’s face it, you’re too self-conscious to actually read anything.
19 | ’Winner stays on’ games of pool. There’s always someone who is miles better than you, and even he’s bored by the third rack.
20 | Letting another driver in when you’re not in any rush. You’ll end up getting caught at the lights.
21 | The best man’s speech.
22 | Oysters. Surely the greatest PR scam of them all.
23 | Adventurous ordering in a restaurant. You should have just got the steak.
24 | That ‘new car’ smell.
25 | Meeting your heroes. Trust us, we’ve met a few.
26 | Modern day reboots of your favourite 80s TV shows.
27 | Breakfast radio DJs.
28 | Free public Wi-Fi. Spam mail ahoy!
29 | ’Express checkout’ lanes.