The most powerful female and male relationships—sister and brother, mother and son, wife and husband—are, at their core, founded and sustained by empowering one another.
The saying usually goes: Behind every great man is a great woman, or vice versa. That’s just not how it goes. Partnerships are about being beside one another, not behind.
On International Women’s Day, in association with UN Women, Esquire Middle East is spotlighting relationships—familial, marital, or otherwise—that are based on mutual support, allowing women in leadership positions to thrive and achieve a more equal future.
The relationship between a mother and son is a very powerful one, one that evolves from dependence and support, and vice versa.
For both Emirati author and life coach Hala Kazim, and her eldest son Anas Bukhash, each have found their own individual path to success, but still rely on each other for professional and personal support.
With Bukhash becoming a successful entrepreneur in the digital space by focusing on creating opportunities for others and challenging taboo talking points in modern Arab culture – he attributes a lot of his success to the way he was raised.
Read our full conversation with the duo below:
The mother-son relationship is a very powerful one. At what point did that turn from a dependent one, into a supportive one?
HK: When our children grow up and they become independent. The main thing you can do is teach them how to develop their own personality and character. That’s when you have to raise your children in a way where they can support you.
AB: From my perspective it started to reduce gradually. Naturally any infant is dependent on their mother and in general it starts to lessen as they grow. Of course this is different for everyone, some people it might lessen quicker than others. In my case, my mother always allowed my brothers and I to express ourselves, whether that was through clothing, style or ideas. We were never criticized for doing so, even when we looked terrible! She would always support us.
“Once you become an adult and you build your own character and personality, the relationship turns into more of a friendship where you support each other. I believe that comes with age and experience.”
My mother and I have a very interesting relationship, because she is only 18-years older than me. She is not just my mother, she is also my friend and my sister – it’s a mix of everything. Once you become an adult and you build your own character and personality, the relationship turns into more of a friendship where you support each other. I believe that comes with age and experience.
For this project we’ve coined the phrase ‘Beside every great man, there is a great woman’. What does that adapted phrase mean to you?
AB: I believe it’s a phrase that has been used, edited and adjusted in many ways, but the main message is how men and women complement each other, how they can elevate and push each other – and that’s where I think this phrase becomes most accurate.
HK: It is very hard to do things alone and it’s good to have someone beside you, not in front of you and not behind you – just beside you. Sometimes you need a different perspective on things. As a woman, I have a different mindset and because of that I need the support of a man sometimes. This is how we live together as men and women.
Other than the natural mother-son dynamic, how do you feel empowered by the other?
HK: I think Anas and I have a lot of similarities, but we are also very different at the same time. That said, we always support each other whether we agree on certain things or not. It goes both ways, I share my feedback, thoughts and opinions with him honestly and so does he when it comes to me. This way, we can share our experiences and gain more knowledge from each other.
“We are fully transparent and open with each other. I think that’s because my mother never made us feel that we have anything to be ashamed of.”
AB: My mother is very different. She shares a lot of her knowledge with me and she has influenced my ethos and values and how I look at life in general. At the same time, as she said, we are very different. She is extremely empathetic and caring towards people, not just towards myself and my brothers. Whereas I am much more practical, logical and pragmatic. So whenever I ask her for advice, she gives me a different perspective on things which helps me and I hope I do the same for her.
As you are family, are you more open and honest with each other, or less?
HK: Oh, we are very open as a family. We are open, honest and sometimes quite blunt towards each other, but I think this is what we need. We need an honest opinion from each other, not just a polished one.
AB: We are fully transparent and open with each other. I think that’s because my mother never made us feel that we have anything to be ashamed of. We were able to approach her with any subject and she never judged us. This helped us build a relationship, where we are not reluctant to talk to our mother and ask her about anything.
Do you feel the issue of gender inequality is improving?
HK: Yes I think it is. I believe that via social media people are learning and educating themselves more. They are much more aware of things going on around them, and the support and opportunities available.
AB: Yes it definitely is. Of course there is always room for improvement, but there are a lot of people on the internet or on social media nowadays sharing their stories and spreading awareness. You see so many examples of really powerful and strong independent women out there and men are recognizing them more and more. Generally, the way the world is going, I feel the issue of gender inequality is improving overall.