Is it a country? A new traffic indicator? A slightly less chaotic Black Flag tribute band? If you answered ‘D, none of the above’ then you are correct. A ‘Beige Flag’ is an odd or quirky characteristic, and we all have a few of those, right…right? In fact – not recognising that you, as a human, have your own set of idiosyncrasies, could in itself be a ‘Beige Flag’. There comes a moment in a relationship where, unlike it’s crimson counterpart, the ‘Red Flag’, you notice questionable behaviour from your (potential) partner, that isn’t a complete deal breaker, but it’s sudden arrival does have the potential to raise at least one eyebrow. It’s usually something innocuous that’ll make you think to yourself, “Hmm, well that’s something to think about.”
Having been trending on TikTok for sometime – unlike ‘gas-lighting’ and ‘trauma’ which is thrown around more than a frisbee, with those using it having little to no idea of what it actually means – ‘Beige Flag’ is a term that we can actually get behind.
Dating Apps
How many times have you seen “Looking for the Jim to my Pam” in Dating app bios? What about “my phobia: slow walkers” or “I’m a foodie” – yaaaawn. Beige flags are now being put up to protest these exact kind of phrases. Because, naturally, just because someone has something corny and uninspiring in their dating app bio doesn’t mean they should be completely dismissed, but having such a term under your own ‘beige flag’ section could let the other swipers know what you’re not about.
@cat.elizabeth #boyfriend #beigeflag ♬ Summer Background Jazz – Jazz Background Vibes
A beige flag is also not an “ick”, which, again, like a red flag, is pretty close to a deal-breaker, especially if you have yet to decide whether or not you want to date this person.
According to a piece from Arabian Business, however, in Dubai, people are actually ditching the dating apps as in-person speed dating is making a comeback. Why? Well, whether conscious or not, identifying any coloured flag from a Tinder/Bumble/Hinge bio is much more difficult than doing it in person, and perhaps the people of Dubai have had enough of digital romance, and are seeking that in person interaction that, had their parents (and literally every person in human history) not capitalised on it, none of them would be here in the first place.
How to Identify
Depending on who you are, you may have different ways of extracting deal-breaking information out of a potential partner, but perhaps the best way to sift through beige flags is just by picking up on their general attitude, personality, vibe.
Psychologist, Carly Dober, says that what could initially begin as beige flags could, however, turn into red flags. For example, it “could become a red flag if they’re not financially literate, get themselves into debt for coffee, can’t pay their rent or bills because they like coffee so much.”
On simplypsychology.org, one girl mentioned her red flag as sending her boyfriend multiple texts, yet he chooses only to address one of the points in the text thread. This could turn into a red flag in both directions. Dismissing his girlfriend’s questions could be a sign of not respecting her problems and questions, which, down the line, is a very red flag. Alternatively, continuously sending long, multiple text threads and demanding thorough answers to each and every point can be exhausting and time consuming, and an inability to respect the other person’s time is also a big no-no.
Dober adds that: “You really have to decide what is worthwhile to you. What kind of relationship you want. What you can overlook and what you are happy just to accept. Not like. Not love. But accept.” In other words, you have to pick your battles because nobody’s perfect, and to save you the suspense, neither are you.
After combing through the internet, here are some Beige flag examples we stumbled across.
- They eat pizza or hamburgers with a fork (that’s probably weird to everyone except people from Sweden)
- They recycle the same corny pose in every photo
- They think ‘pineapple on pizza’ is a topic for discussion
- They talk about how funny they are rather than actually being funny (this sounds like a red flag)
- Using a straw for every drink, even hot tea
- Clapping when a plane lands (unless there was terrorising turbulence, in which case clapping is forgiven)
- Refusing to sit on any other seat in the house aside from ‘their seat’
- Posting everything on social media
- Saying “I saw this on TikTok” before everything
A major red flag should also be getting all of your life advice from TikTok. Even if said ‘expert’ has 8 million followers and really knows how to create the perfect eyeshadow, if they’re in their early 20’s and telling you your spouse is a narcissist because they didn’t do the one thing that the ‘golden retriever partner’ is supposed to do (statistically speaking, a genuine narcissist is much rarer than you think) then you, my friend, are the scorching red flag.
