It’s become like clockwork. Every year, after every gala premiere at the Cannes Film Festival, in which every star and filmmaker is in attendance, the audience claps for several minutes.
Moments later, one of the big media outlets will run a splashy headline about said premiere that invariably includes exactly how long every standing ovation lasted, a sure-fire determinant, it’s implied, of the movie’s quality.
An hour after that, just as often as not, a 43% Rotten Tomatoes score debuts.
All of this is complete bullsh*t, of course. A bit of false hype is fine, but at this point, the cycle has become damaging not only the festival, but the films themselves, and has rightfully become ridiculed widely from film fans from across the world who can’t quite figure out what the heck is going on over there on the Croisette.
Are they all insane? Why can’t they stop clapping? What does the standing ovation even mean?
What’s made matters worse is that the media has also started deciding that all five-minute ovations are not created equally. Last year, ‘Top Gun: Maverick’ got a “Rapturous” Five-Minute Standing Ovation at Cannes”, Variety reported. This year, ‘Indiana Jones 5’ got a “Lukewarm 5-Minute Ovation”, said the same outlet.
Trying to figure out what exactly the difference is without causing a nosebleed would require an Ovation Scientist, a job title that will likely exist at a leading trade publication by next year’s proceedings.
So, as the cleaning crew attempts to get the tear stains out of the red carpet from a blubbering Sam Levinson still recovering from last night’s standing O, let’s break this down to figure out what the heck is going on over there.
So, what’s with the Cannes standing ovations, anyways?
OK, so, full disclosure, I have actually participated in a number of these applause sessions. First, let’s break down why this happens.
Have you ever been to a play or musical? Assuming you haven’t, at the end of every performance, after the curtain drops, it rises again soon after, and all the cast comes back to the stage and takes a bow. Through all of this, even if you didn’t really enjoy the play, you will likely stand and continue clapping.
It would be rude if you didn’t. After all, you’re in the room with all the people who just spent hours trying to entertain you, and you may as well try to make them feel appreciated, and keep your opinions to yourself. The days of throwing tomatoes is long gone.
At a film festival, it works the same way. After every screening, the cast and crew, often made up of the most famous and respected people in the industry, stand in their seats, and the audience politely claps for as long as they continue standing there, often as they wait for the fest’s camera guy to stop awkwardly filming them. This isn’t really weird behavior.
There are, of course, reasons why the applause may grow beyond the usual even if the film won’t end up being considered a masterpiece. Sometimes it may be a matter of how excited everyone in the theater is to be, to quote Hamilton, in the room where it happens. Not only is a much-hyped film debuting, after all, but sometimes, history is being made. Sometimes, the moment may become a rare chance to show appreciation for filmmaker or actor after a lifetime of wonderful work. Often, getting the ticket at all means you either got extremely lucky or you are an extremely important, well connected person. That begs a bit of excitement, no?
In my experience, the best Cannes clapping sessions occur not in the main competition, but over in the Un Certain Regard section, where younger talent often drops far more daring work, usually in their directorial debut.
There, the enthusiasm is palpable, not only because you’re all watching something that feels new, but because that’s the room in which careers are born, and looking down from the balcony at a young filmmaker crying after finally making their dream come true is genuinely moving.
You’ll want to keep clapping, as it feels like the human thing to do. Personally, those are the moments that I have loved my job, and loved film itself, the most.
The stopwatch reporting has to stop
The real problem, of course, is that everyone in digital media is clinging to their jobs, and the only thing that sustains them is clicks, clicks, clicks. Getting those are quite hard. Most journalists in that space are racking our brains trying to come up with the next viral thing, each fighting with every competitor trying to achieve the feat. In that situation, having a formula that works, even for a few weeks a year, must feel like a gift from above.
It will stop, of course, when everyone stops clicking on it, forcing the outlets to try something new. Mocking or scolding them won’t work. If you don’t want to see those types of stories, don’t read them.
But ok, while I’m here, I may as well ask nicely: Please stop. You’re making the movie world look bad, and at a time when normal non-black-tie theaters are clinging to life, that’s something we all need to be concerned about.