There are people out there who live exactly the life they want. We all know of some of them; they seem to have it all, it’s almost as though everything they touch turns to gold.
Then there are the others. The ones who have big dreams, impressive goals, have the skill, the ambition and the ability to do great things but never really seem to get there. They somehow never seem to get around to it. Have you ever thought why?
Life-coach Sophia Fromell has, and here she explains why so many people fail to reach the goals that they set themselves:
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1. Lack of a clearly defined goal
Many people have goals; we all have things we want to achieve. You often hear people say “I want a big house”, “I want a better job”, “I want to be in a relationship”, “I want to make a lot of money”.
But how often do you hear people say: “By the end of December 20xx, I will be an independent consultant, earning a minimum of $100,000 per month. My clients will be senior executives and entrepreneurs who will seek out my advise on how to set up and profit from multiple sources of income”. The answer is very rarely, if ever at all.
This lack of a clearly defined goal though is the fine line between success and failure. If your goal is to become a consultant, how do you know when you have made it or not? Without a clearly defined goal, you will be bouncing around the business world without ever reaching far.
2. Allow outside influences to interfere with their dreams
Sir Richard Branson says that he has lost count of the times he heard that his new ideas would not succeed. Would he be the man he is today if he had taken the advice of the people who told him it is not possible?
People who get things done, see the opportunity where the others see barriers and they do not allow the opinions of others to influence them. “Opinions are the cheapest commodities on earth”, Napoleon Hill said very correctly. If you are looking for opinions, you will always be offered plenty, and if you allow these opinions to influence your decisions, then you are living somebody else’s life and not the life you really want to achieve
3. The power of doubt
Many people have big dreams and many of them set out to achieve these dreams. But then they start doubting themselves; “am I doing the right thing?”, “will I succeed?”, “what will my friends say?”
An old tale says that once the devil had a sale of his tools. There on display he had the rapier of jealousy, the dagger of fear, and the strangling noose of hatred; each item was on sale for a very high price. But standing alone on a purple pedestal, was a worn wedge. That was the wedge of doubt and it was the devil’s most prized possession and it was not for sale. Because with it alone, the devil could stay in business.
The moral of the story is that while jealousy, fear and hatred have a negative effect on a person, they always make one act, even if it is in an irrational manner which will soon regret. Doubt however, has a demoralizing effect because it causes you pity yourself and do nothing.
4. Lack of desire to succeed
When you set out to do something new, there are two questions you need to ask yourself:
1. “Am I able to do this?”
2. “Am I willing to do this?”
The answer to the first question should always be yes. According to both science and theology, we are taught that we have infinite potential.
It is actually the second question that determines whether you succeed or fail. If you want to have something you haven’t had before, you need to do something you haven’t done before. So are you willing to do what it takes to achieve your goals?
Doing whatever it takes, doesn’t mean you will have to do something illegal or immoral. It means that you will need to accept that you will have to make some sacrifices. And that’s where most people give up. They are not willing to do what it takes, not only because this takes additional effort but also because they do not realize that a sacrifice is not about giving up something you like or love. Making a sacrifice is about letting go of something that you do not need anymore (an old habit, an ineffective way of being) in order to make room for something new and of a higher value to you.
5. Lack of persistence
If you decide that you are willing to do what it takes in order to achieve your goal, you need to understand that you may fail a number of times before you succeed. Knowing that, you have two options: you either let a temporary defeat define you results or you learn from your mistakes and swiftly and move on.
With the right combination of commitment and persistence to go after your dreams, you can achieve everything you want. If your commitment however is low and your persistence is patchy, you are likely to give up early when the first challenges arise.