Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez (aka, A-Rod) are now engaged. And it is a very big deal.
Last night saw A-Rod take to one knee, and offer up a whopper of a diamond ring. According to Instagram, “she said yes”. Afterwards, both J-Lo and A-Rod posted photos of the two holding hands with said massive rock. The couple are currently vacationing in Bakers Bay in the Bahamas.
A-Rod perhaps hinted at this proposal the day before, posting on an Instagram Story the following Poem – dubbed “Soulmate”.
“A soulmate isn’t someone who completes you. No, a soulmate is someone who inspires you to complete yourself,” the poem says. “A soulmate is someone who loves you with so much conviction, and so much heart, that it is nearly impossible to doubt just how capable you are of becoming exactly who you have always wanted to be.”
This sickeningly sweet message comes fresh off the back of J-Lo and A-Rod’s two-year anniversary, in which the popstar decided she can also be horribly romantic on Instagram Stories:
“You make my world a more beautiful safe and stable place… in the midst of our ever-changing, ever-moving life…you make me feel like a teenager starting out all over again…”
And this is where the big – nay, huge – problem starts.
Ever heard of a little thing called #relationshipgoals? You probably have. It’s one of a handful of hashtag phrases that are used more commonly than the rolling-eye emoji on social media these days (along with #officefortheday and #lunch).
It’s used by both men and women to generally convey what they want in their significant other, or as a way of telling the world of social media how great said significant other is (also known as the #humblebrag).
Quick history lesson: it is widely believed that entire concept of #relationshipgoals started way back in 1989, when Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal sat down to have lunch (“I’ll have what she’s having”).
Over the years, the rom-com has played a large part in the growth of said relationship goals (Nora Ephron and Nicolas Sparks have a lot to answer for) but it wasn’t until the advent of social media that the term went gangbusters.
Now, you can see #relationship goals tagged in just about every form of SMDA (‘Social Media Displays of Affection’) and the J-Lo/A-Rod announcement is a perfect example of that.
Scroll through the 104,000 comments on J-Lo’s engagement picture, followed by 41,200 comments on A-Rod’s page (at the time of publication) and you’ll spot the hashtag a worrying amount of times. And that’s a big cause for concern.
The #relationshipgoals concept continues to set the romance bar at ludicrously high levels. It was more or less manageable when it was primarily constrained to rom-coms (anyone can say, “You had me at hello”) but less people are able to book an entire private island in the Bahamas and purchase a three-pound diamond ring.
But that doesn’t matter. The gauntlet of romance has been thrown down. The #relationshipgoals beast now expects more and more (and this monster’s appetite is insatiable).
For mere mortals, the pinnacle of romance used to be purchasing a single, solitary rose and booking dinner down the local curry house. No more.
If your date night doesn’t include at least three singing musicians (one holding a boom box over their head), an entire roomful of freshly cut flowers and your own sonnet (resplendent in the tears of joy you wept while writing about your significant other) it doesn’t count.
Indeed, the world will never be the same after this. Let’s hope your poetry is up to scratch.
