If Casablanca (1942) were made today, the film’s (arguably) most famous line would probably be altered to something like, “Here’s swiping right on you, kid.“
One of the most Googled relationship questions of 2024 was, “Are dating apps a waste of time?” Now although I have nothing against dating apps as a concept (I’ve actually attended several weddings where the couple met on a dating app), much like many brilliant ideas on paper, once conceptualised they can occasionally do more harm than good. One, now widely known, statistic showed that across major dating apps, men swipe right 61% of the time, whereas women swipe right only 5% of the time, and 1% of men get 90% of the matches. So much for equal distribution of opportunity. Yikes.
So, will 2025 spell the end of dating apps? Relationship expert and co-founder of So Syncd, Jessica Alderson alongside Mecca Bingo, seems to think so. At least, partly.
“One of the biggest trends we are currently seeing is an increase in people meeting partners in real life. This year has seen mixer events take off, from dinners with strangers to singles-run clubs. Dating apps emerged as a game-changing way to meet potential partners, and it’s true that they have completely changed the way people date. But the “shiny new toy” appeal of dating apps is wearing off, and usage is now finding a sustainable level.”
Although an app like Hinge proudly labels itself ‘the app designed to be deleted,’ one can’t help but fall victim to the allure of potential matches on the app, continuously swiping in hopes of finding someone “better,” ultimately never finding anyone at all. In turn, Tinder is much more shameless in its fiendish plot to keep consumers hooked to its platform. Even if you decide to delete your account, unless you meticulously go in and delete every trace of yourself from the platform such as phone number, email address, and blocking any marketing accounts, you’ll be hounded constantly with updates, texts, and notifications, all telling you that romance is but a swipe away.
“Another 2025 dating trend is growth-checking. This involves checking early on in the dating phase whether a partner has “done the work” or is, at least, in the process of doing it,” Alderson adds. “A lot of singles have been burned by exes who weren’t emotionally available or ready for a healthy relationship. It has bred a category of singles who are now pretty cautious about making the same mistake again. Instead of waiting months to find out if a partner is emotionally available, singles are now having more open conversations earlier on to understand where a potential partner is at when it comes to their willingness and ability to be in a healthy relationship.”
“This isn’t about being perfect or “fully healed”—it’s about being at a point where building a healthy relationship is possible. Expect more singles to start having these conversations in 2025, as it becomes a common dating practice.”
The concept of ‘situation-ship’ comes to mind. For those unfamiliar with this internet word, the online definition calls it: “a relationship that is noncommittal and undefined, and may include affection, intimate activity, and spending time together.”
i have seen some of the greatest minds of this generation destroyed by 2 month situationships
— folake aina (@f0lake) January 17, 2023
“One of the side effects of the increased levels of self-awareness we are seeing is that singles are now much clearer about what they want in a relationship. From things like therapy to self-help tools, singles are now better able to express what they actually need from a partner,” Alderson adds. “We’re starting to see more formal “relationship agreements” pop up here and there, which are written documents that outline the expectations, boundaries, and needs of both partners. These agreements can range from practical things like household chores to deeper emotional needs such as the frequency of communication. While relationship agreements don’t suit everyone, certain personalities find them hugely helpful as a way to ensure that both partners are on the same page and minimise the risk of misunderstandings.”
Much like restricting overall phone usage, users have found that upon deleting a dating app their mental health improves significantly, something called ‘dating app fatigue’.
“Dating app fatigue is real, and it stems from the inherent design of these platforms, which often prioritise the illusion of endless options over genuine connection,” notes Kellie Ammerman, CEO of matchmaking company Tawkify. “Swiping encourages a consumerist mindset, where people are treated like products to evaluate rather than humans to connect with.”
In college, a buddy of mine excitedly told me to get Tinder premium (the subscription based version) because it’s totally worth it.
“How is it better?” I asked.
“Because you can swipe endlessly without running out of matches…” and he then proceeded to scroll through his endless number of matches, all smiling faces reduced to a small, quarter inch circle trickling down the edge of his screen, none of who he ever messaged, nor they him, and if he ever did, it was an uninspiring, “Hey.” *sigh*
Here’s to treating each other like humans rather than trying to reach the new high score of most ‘matches’ achieved. Perhaps 2025 will be our most romantic year yet.
