Why you should get a fake Christmas tree
You made it through Thanksgiving. You made it through Black Friday. You made it through the leftovers, we hope. And now, for some of us, it's the seasonally appropriate time to get merry and decorate accordingly. So what about the tree? Our recommendation: Go ahead and buy the fake one. Yes, really.
Back in the day, there was no shortage of family bonding in pulling mom's 30-year-old tree out from under the stairs to figure out which branches go in what slot. It was like doing a puzzle, and the prize was Lego spaceships and N64s. These days, you brave enough rain, snow, sleet, and hail just making it to the office. Why give up part of your already-too-short weekend haggling prices on a misshapen Scotch pine that you have to cut, carry, ship, build, and decorate yourself? And then everything gets covered in sap.
Cleaning up after a real tree sucks. It doesn't just happen in the post-season, once the Auld Lang Synes have been drunkenly scream-sung and the fresh horrors of a new year are upon us. It starts the minute you walk in the door with an endless trail of sticky needles that become Punji sticks in carpet, make your dogs vomit, and carry bugs. It's like the worst roommate you ever had showing up once a year, draped in shimmering garland, to die in your living room. And you pay for this to happen.
Believe it or not, an artificial tree might be the better choice for the planet, even thought it's typically made of plastic, steel, and aluminum. After owning a fake for six to nine years, there's a "break-even" point when it actually becomes easier on the environment than doing the annual chop and drop, reports the LA Times. Just make sure you keep the thing for awhile.
This all might read as sacrilege in some circles, especially for those who have a long family tradition of driving hours in a station wagon to settle for whatever's left on the tree farm. But for anyone looking to make a long-term Yuletide cheer investment that saves time, money, and maybe even the earth, "fake" doesn't have to be a four-letter word.
Now, go forth and deck those halls.