Why would you willingly spend $100 on Dollar Shave Club's 'Robloncho?'
If you've been in the market for a combination robe/blanket/poncho and found yourself deeply frustrated—depressed, even—about the lack of combination robe/blanket/ponchos on the market today, boy do I have some good news for you. Dollar Shave Club, purveyor of very-affordable shaving and grooming supplies, is now also the purveyor of a combination robe/blanket/poncho.
It is called, naturally, the Robloncho. It retails for $100, which is 100 times more than the "dollar" in the name of "Dollar Shave Club." If you're thinking about buying one, I have just one question for you: Why?
I'm not here to bemoan the Robloncho in grand philosophical terms. Is it kinda dumb and unnecessary? Sure. But so are a lot of things that bring me personal joy, so if purchasing a combination robe/blanket/poncho will fill your heart with happiness, go for it. There are certainly worse things you could do with your money.
The problem, though, is that there are so many better things you could do with your money. Take those Robloncho bucks and get yourself a cashmere sweater, instead. It is also a cozy garment, but you can wear it beyond the very narrow confines of Robloncho-appropriate situations (on the couch, at a fast food restaurant at 2 in the morning, at the increasingly debauched tail end of a bachelor party). Or you could get an extremely classic oxford shirt. Or some jeans!
You might even have a few bucks left over after one of those purchases. You could, in theory, use those few bucks to buy some shave or grooming stuff from Dollar Shave Club. But while you're there, maybe don't buy a Robloncho. Because, really, why would you?