Best jokes from last night's roast of Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin didn’t get off lightly on last night’s Comedy Central special.
Robert DeNiro, Caitlyn Jenner, Ken Jeon, Caroline Rhea, Nikki Glaser, Adam Corolla, Chris Redd and Jeff Ross combined forces last night, to let Baldwin know what they really think of the Hollywood Star.
Will & Grace actor Sean Hayes served as host for the evening, delivering the opening monologue that lampooned the guests as much as Baldwin.
"Don't worry, Alec. Nothing said here will be meaner than what you left on your daughter's voicemail," revealing that Baldwin wanted his former 30 Rock co-star Tracy Morgan to act as the host for the evening’s events.
"Tracy said, 'I'd rather go shopping at Walmart with the Walmart driver who hit me,'" Hayes said.
Even Baldwin’s daughter Ireland got in on the festivities, poking fun at “that guy from, like, half my birthday parties”.
"A lot of people only know my dad as an angry guy, but he's more than just a lunatic who loses his temper. He also loses Emmys and Oscars and custody of his first-born child," she said.
"Let me just set the record straight -- he was a great dad. I still remember when he would tuck me in and yell me a bedtime story."
Here are some of our favourite roasts from the evening:
"What the (expletive) am I doing here? This is what you get for being Alec's friend. On nights like these, you expect your friends, the people you've worked with closely to show up. Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan, Thomas the Tank Engine, Meryl Streep. Not one! Instead, we have a group (of roasters,) you can't even find them on Wikipedia. Who are these people?"
- Robert DeNiro
"I'm here because I love Alec. Yes! Actually, I've known Alec for a long time and consider him family. We go back to when I was Bruce and we were like brothers, so I guess that is one more brother he will never talk to again.”
- Caitlyn Jenner
“Alec Baldwin, what an honour to be here roasting Justin Bieber’s wife’s oldest, fattest uncle.”
- Nikki Glaser
"Alec, no offense, but you weren't the star of 30 Rock and, with De Niro here, you're not even the star of your own (expletive) roast, and with Justin Bieber as your nephew, you're not even the star of your own (expletive) family."
- Ken Yeong
"Alec, where are your brothers tonight? God knows they're not working. Let's face it: No one wants to be here. The person who went to the greatest length not to be here is Bruce Jenner."
- Caroline Rhea
“I learned something tonight, Alec is what you call your son if you want him to grow up to be a [expletive) a**hole)
- Jeff Ross