Did Joe Keery get a bowl cut?
I am here to correct the record. I undertake this solemn duty not just for the sake of history, but for the sake of all people going bravely forward into the world after this momentous occasion. These intrepid travelers should not be saddled with the weight of a falsehood as they march into the future.
They should know, with certainty, that September of 2019 was not when Stranger Things star Joe Keery got a bowl cut. It was when he got a "Rob Thomas."
To clarify (again, for the record), Joe Keery attended a Chanel dinner Thursday night in Los Angeles. He was photographed, as is the norm for such an event when one is Joe Keery, the star of a runaway-hit Netflix show and the possessor of a fabled head of hair. But! The hair, the stuff of modern legend, was drastically different. It was lopped off, pushed forward, the swooping verticality now replaced with blunt edges.
People, naturally, took note.
Many have declared Keery's new hairstyle a bowl cut. While the arrival of bangs on the actor's forehead would begin to explain this misinterpretation of the style, it nevertheless remains a misinterpretation. This is not a bowl cut. The drop-off—the shelf, if you will—created as the bangs give way to long sideburns, establishes this cut as something different.
You've seen it before—at least, you have if you have any appreciation for the most important song of 1999. The cut is the "Rob Thomas," specifically the "Rob Thomas from the music video for 'Smooth.'"
Now you know the truth. Carry it in your heart. Tell the people. Understand its power, and respect it.
(Oh, also, it might be an "Oasis.")