This is not how you eat a burrito Justin Bieber
I know it's easy to see this photo of Justin Bieber eating a burrito like a hamburger and think, Get a load of this joker!
After this photo popped up on Twitter today, it has been the subject of much analysis, including here at Esquire ME dot com, where we took note of Bieber's removal of the protective wrap of foil.
He's clearly screwing up the delicately layered distribution of burrito innards by approaching it from the wrong side. That bite is gonna be all guacamole or all cheese or all lettuce. This is a food designed to be rolled into a tube form that (more or less) perfectly fits into the human mouth, and he's doing it all wrong.
But, dear reader, I'm here to tell you that A) this image might be an elaborate and confusing hoax and B) I understand, and agree, with how this human person is eating the burrito.
Let's first address the legitimacy of this image. Here at Esquire HQ, we're intimately familiar with Bieber's wardrobe, and the person in this photo is wearing clothing that we've never seen him photographed in. Additionally, from our research, Biebs does not have hair on his knees and the person in this photo appears to have knee hair. Also, the person in this image also is missing Bieber's earring in his left ear. The image has also been called into question because it first appeared on Reddit but was quickly taken down.
BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT.
I'm here to talk about the way this person is eating the burrito, whether it's Justin Bieber or not.
Anyone who's eaten their fair share of burritos in their lifetime knows that perfect burrito construction doesn't happen every time. Some are serviceable, some are sloppy, and some are a complete disaster. This can be an issue of a bad roll, a broken tortilla, or, quite possibly, too much filling. In these cases, the traditional burrito eating method completely goes out the door—not even the foil can save you.
Now, if the structure of the burrito has failed and you're lucky enough to be at home, you can just grab a plate and a fork and eat it like that. But, burritos are on-the-go food. Take another look at this Bieber photo.
Our poor boy is at a park bench trying to eat his burrito and the innards are clearly busting out of one side:
If he were to eat this burrito from one end everything would go spilling out. Instead, he's smartly gripped it from the broken side and is holding all of it together with his hands as he attempts to eat it.
So, you do you, Justin Bieber or Real Human Person Burrito Eater whoever you are.
As long as the delicious burrito ends up in your stomach eventually, you've won.