The 65 words that defined the 2016 US election
Every election has its own language. Four years ago, Mitt Romney gave us "binders full of women" and "the 47 percent." In 2016, the rise of Trumpism has exposed the truly vile undercurrent of American politics, but it has also provided us with a tonne of hilarious words (Donald is the 'best at words')
To mark the blessed conclusion of this campaign, we've put together a comprehensive glossary of the nouns, verbs, adjectives, and batshit phrases that we may or may never use again come January. From "Bernie Bros" to "Pocahontas," "low energy" to "tremendous," here is a list that is no doubt triggering.
Alt-Right (n.) — a new umbrella for various white supremacists, neo-Nazis, ethno-nationalists, anti-immigrant activists, former KKK Imperial Wizards, old-fashioned xenophobes, trade protectionists, 4chan basement dwellers, and reactionary misogynists, some of whom are threatening to end the world if Trump loses.
Bad Hombre (n.) — an undocumented immigrant who will be deported on Day One of a Trump White House, you can believe me.
Bernie Bro (n.) — a male Bernie Sanders supporter who is aggressively anti-Hillary; usually blanket-labeled as a misogynist (in some cases, justifiably so).
Beta (adj.) — a sworn enemy of the alt-right, from Establishment Republicans to Bernie Bros. (See also: cuck).
Benghazi (n.) — a 2012 terrorist attack in Libya that Hillary Clinton allegedly willfully ignored, or, in the words of Bobby Knight: "Goddamn Benghazi."
Bigly / Big League — (adj.) a 'yuge' term often used to describe something that is destroying the US and/or causing it to never win anymore; (n.) a thing for political reporters to debate in order to distract themselves from the existential terror of the campaign.
Big If True (adj.) — lazy trope embraced by Media Twitter, usually utilised in a quote tweet of someone else's scoop.
BillionAIRES! (n.) — 1. Bernie Sanders' characterisation of sociopathic hoarders hell-bent on tearing apart the fabric of society by spending money to get old white guys elected; 2. a presidential candidate.
Breitbart (n.) — the far-right content farm that burst into pseudo-mainstream legitimacy this election by cheerleading Donald Trump's campaign from day one; the day job of Trump's campaign C.E.O., Steve Bannon (see also: Alt-Right).
Brexit (n.) — 1. Great Britain's exit from the European Union, driven in large part by militant right-wing populism; 2. The reason every voter should take the US election seriously; this is not a drill.
Bushy, The (n.) — 1. Billy Bush, a lesser-known Bush cousin and friend of The Donald (who scored!); 2. someone who also needs a hug when he gets off the bus.
Climate Change (n.) — Ha! Just kidding. Never heard of it.
CNN Panel (n.) — an assembly of belligerent talking heads; the 10th circle of Hell.
Cuck (n.) — Short for "cuckold," often used in a still-not-very-clear way to insult male liberals or virtually anyone who is not of the Alt-Right; from the Old English "RINO," meaning insufficiently conservative Republican.
Crooked (adj.) — corrupt, rigged; only used to describe career public servants, never someone who dodges taxes and stiffs small business contractors.
Cyber, The (n.) — a grave threat to national security that somehow involves the Internet; something a 10-year-old who has computers might understand.
Demagogue (n.) — 1. a leader who seeks power by appealing to the public's prejudices and desires; 2. Donald Trump.
Deplorables (n.) — basket-dwelling supporters of Donald Trump who are "racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic, you name it," who had never heard the word "deplorable" before September, and who, when you call them deplorables, will reclaim the word.
Disaster (n.) — a terrible, horrible state of affairs; according to Trump: everything in America right now.
Dumpster Fire (n.) — a term describing how bad this campaign has been; the laziest, most played-out Media Twitter joke.
Emails (n.) — a form of electronic communication; a potentially lethal weapon that, if kept on a private server and deleted, allegedly have something to do with Benghazi.
Failing (adj.) — in a state of decline; normally applied to major national newspapers such as The New York Times, which is losing a lot of money and doesn't "write good."
Feel the Bern (v.) — to embrace the left-populist movement of Bernie Sanders; not related to any venereal disease.
Furniture Shopping (n.) — 1. a wholesome activity for couples and families where they share in the task of decorating their homes; 2. the weirdest seduction strategy on record.
I'm With Her (n.) — the rallying cry of the Clinton campaign, which in no way implied the campaign was All About Her and not you.
Infowars (n.) — the far-right conspiracy theory factory founded by The Greatest Man on Internet TV, which is suddenly finding itself the subject of speeches by Hillary Clinton.
ok i have no words for this one. zero pic.twitter.com/x4wKeWaDZ4— ▀▀▀▀▀▀ (@immolations) November 5, 2016
Jeb! (n.) — a former Florida governor tipped to win the Republican presidential nomination who spent nine months stuffed in a locker (see also: low energy, please clap, MacBook Pro Baby).
Laws of Political Gravity (n.) — 1. The rules that members of the Elite Political Press were amazed did not apply to Donald Trump; 2. The rules to which The Elite Political Press did not subject Donald Trump.
List, The (n.) — a quasi-official database of journalists and public figures who are considered hostile to Donald Trump's campaign and promptly have red X's drawn over their faces, because what could go wrong?
Little (adj.) — a descriptor applied to the most diminutive of your legitimate challengers on the debate stage, Marco Rubio.
Lock Her Up (v.) — a call for extra-judicial imprisonment to be chanted at a major party's political convention about the competition; the chant should ideally be led by a guy who might soon be locked up.
Low Energy (adj.) — lacking in vigor; the worst insult imaginable, capable of destroying the career of a scion of American nobility with unlimited funds at his disposal.
Luegenpresse (n.) — a Nazi term for members of the press who dissented from the party line; something Trump supporters yell at American journalists in 2016 (see also: The List).
Lyin' (adj.) — duplicitous, deceitful; to be used by someone whose statements have been rated false 70 percent of the time.
MacBook Pro, Baby (n.) — the preferred content machine of Low Energy Jeb (!) Bush.
#MAGA (hashtag) — shorthand for Make America Great Again, proud slogan of the Trump campaign; also: a white nationalist invective to be hurled at journalists and Jewish people on Twitter.
Many People Are Saying (phrase) — the way Donald Trump learns stuff, unless it's "on the Internet."
Mazel Tov Cocktails (n.) — the preferred explosive projectile of Jay Z, allegedly.
Media, The (n.) — the collection of print, online, and television reporters who disseminate information to the public; the disgusting scum who give you billions in free airtime in exchange for rides on your Zamboni (see also: rigged).
Metric System (n.) — 1. The political platform of a candidate you literally forgot existed; 2. An objectively better measurement system that pretty much every other country has adopted.
Move on Her Like a Bitch (v.) — a tremendously classy way to tell the Bushy you tried to seduce a (married) woman (see also: furniture shopping).
Nasty (adj.) — a term used to describe a female adversary by sad, pathetic men.
New American Century (n.) — an ominous concept Marco Rubio likes to boast about that sounds like a life insurance company.
#Never (adv.) — as in: #NeverTrump, #NeverHillary; typically placed in front of a proper noun to denote someone who will win their party's presidential nomination and have a 50-50 shot at the White House.
Pervert (n.) — a creep, a skeeze; someone who revives your comatose campaign (see: Weiner, Anthony).
Please Clap (desperate plea) — a wounded animal's cry, begging you to put it out of its low-energy misery.
Pocahontas (n.) — a racist nickname for Elizabeth Warren based on the (false) claim that she faked Cherokee ancestry to get into Harvard; should be combined with Native American "whooping" for maximum cultural sensitivity.
Political Correctness (n.) — the collection of cultural norms that govern conversation and behavior in a civil society; or, the laws of the pussyfooting speech police destroying America and helping the terrorists win.
Polls (n.) — a survey asking which candidate respondents are likely to vote for (see: rigged, unless it shows you winning).
Pepe (n.) — the anthropomorphic frog mascot of the very worst elements of online society (see also: Alt-Right) whose creator is voting for Hillary Clinton.
Pussy (n.) — 1. Something you "grab them" by if you're an alleged serial sexual assailant; 2. What you call Ted Cruz at a campaign rally.
Rigged (adj.) — unfair, biased, corrupt (see also: crooked).
Sad! (adj.) — the final volley of a Trump attack haiku, to reinforce how something is failing, terrible, horrible, low-energy, or money-losing.
Schlonged (v.) — possibly the most vulgar term on record for getting beaten in a major-party presidential primary.
Skittles, Bowl of (n.) — 1. an appetizing Halloween treat; 2. Donald Trump Jr.'s dehumanizing metaphor for Syrian refugees.
Son of a bitch (n.) — an A/V technician who incorrectly installs a microphone.
Suspense, Keep You in (v.) — a ploy to undermine the democratic process and, moving forward, possibly foment a coup.
Taco Bowl (n.) — a Mexican-American delicacy wherein the contents of a taco are served in a bowl; the best ones are at Trump Tower, I guarantee it.
Tic-Tacs (n.) — a once-innocent breath freshening product that did not anticipate having to wade into the most scandalous part of this election (see: Move on Her Like a Bitch).
Tremendous (adj.) — the best, the most beautiful, the most amazing (see also: Yuge).
Unfit (adj.) — an unacceptable choice for president based on a number of criteria, from conspiracy theories about physical illness to being an unhinged demagogue.
Wall, The (n.) — a proposed 3,000-mile barrier across the United States' southern border with Mexico; the omnipotent restorer of American greatness that will keep out undocumented workers, drugs, ISIS, and taco trucks; it just got 10 feet taller.
Weiner, Anthony (n.) — Don't call it a comeback.
Yuge (adj.) — large, important, strong; applies to: walls, polls, deportation plans, hands, scandals, podiums, debate performances; antonym: Marco Rubio.
Zodiac (n.) — Ted Cruz.
[Terms compiled by Esquire US]